My Peace of Mind

Ladies and Gentlemen, Fellow Toastmasters and Guests, good evening.

“What do you want most out of life?”

This is the icebreaker question that I’ve heard for countless times during the orientation session of a certain seminar company that offers leadership success seminars.

I am a proud graduate of the PSI seminars and each time I attend their coffee orientation with a guest, I am asked to introduce myself with this seemingly simple question. Interestingly enough, my answer varies every time. It goes something like this - “I want to travel the world” or “I want to be financially free” or “I want realize my full potential”. But after a few more visits, my answer has evolved to something more concise. I would reply: “What I want most out of life is to have peace of mind”.

What exactly is “peace of mind”? Is this something that only the elderly and dying pursue? Certainly not. I’d be willing to bet that each one of you in this room had given this concept some serious thinking at least once in your life, especially during your most challenged times.
In the horror flicks, “peace of mind” to the main character could mean being able to sleep peacefully at night. In Lion King, it is best described in two words “Hakuna Matata”, meaning no worries. In wikipedia, “peace of mind” is defined as absence of mental stress or anxiety, and simply put, inner peace.

In the PSI seminars, “peace of mind” means having balance in the 4 dimensions of man --PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, MENTAL, and SPIRITUAL -- thereby achieving success. It is illustrated through the Peace of Mind square wherein each side represents one dimension.

• PHYSICAL pertains to HEALTH. When you are not tied to a dextrose and you have the strength to attend a Toastmasters meeting, then you could safely say that you are healthy.
• EMOTIONAL pertains to PERFECT SELF-EXPRESSION. That is, your facial muscles are consistent with what you are feeling. You laugh when you’re happy, you frown when you’re sad, you say what you mean, and you mean what you say.
• MENTAL pertains to WEALTH, both tangible such as money and intangible such as knowledge, skills, or talents.
• SPIRITUAL pertains to AGAPE or UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I’d say that delivering a speech in Toastmasters is an act of agape in itself because you share a part of yourself to virtual strangers even if you run the risk of being judged.

I have since then adopted PSI’s definition of peace of mind. Now I wish to share five techniques on how to achieve this state.

1st, KEEP YOUR COMMITMENTS. This involves being consistent in thoughts, words, and deeds. Deliver what you’ve committed or else, a little voice at the back of your head will nag you until you take action. You see, everytime you ignore that little voice, you are actually deducting points from your self-esteem scale.

Being on time for your appointments is one way of keeping your commitments. It also a sign of respect for other people’s time.

2nd, DELAY GRATIFICATION. I recall a Chinese idiom that my Grade 5 Chinese teacher taught us -- “Xien Ku Hou Le”. It literally means, “First Bitter, Last Happiness”. Loosely translated, it means delaying gratification. Fight the urge to give in to instant pleasures, pause for a while, and reflect how a certain action would affect you tomorrow.

Allow me to relate this to Toastmasters context. In all honesty, I would rather sit down and observe people deliver speeches because it’s less stressful that way. But I also know that if I keep postponing the delivery of my speech projects, the year would have ended without me making any progress at all and I would have thrown away a perfectly good opportunity to further advance my learning on public speaking. So here I am.

3rd, FILL ANOTHER PERSON’S BUCKET. In the book entitled “How Full Is Your Bucket” by Tom Rath and Don Clifton, the metaphor of a “dipper and a bucket” was used to suggest that each person carries an invisible bucket of emotions, along with a dipper, which they can use to either add to other people’s buckets or to dip from them. Their research contends that filling someone else’s bucket benefits both parties – the person who gives the praise and the person who receives it.

Providing constructive evaluation for a newbie’s icebreaker speech is a perfect example of filling another person’s bucket. This results to the speaker feeling good and motivated to proceed to his next speech project. The evaluator also feels equally good for having “made” that person’s day.

4th, DECLUTTER. Clutter is a manifestation of procrastination. It exists because we’ve either put off making a decision about something, or because we’ve managed to make the decision but have not yet taken action.

Procrastination drains us of purposeful energy. Thus, it feels so liberating and exhilarating to declutter. By cleaning up our physical mess, we say goodbye to the negative energy and welcome the good vibes. The space we create encourages mental clarity.

And so I have also started the ultra-distasteful task of cleaning up my rather messy room. This involves putting away outdated magazines and travel brochures, consolidating important documents scattered here and there, and repositioning some pieces of furniture. I am glad though because it shows that I’m ready let go of my past baggage and embrace new possibilities.

5th, MEDITATE. Empty your mind from time to time whenever you feel stressed. Visualize yourself in a peaceful quiet scene in nature and relax your entire body. “Inhale vitality, exhale tension” as the Yogilates intructor at Slimmers would put it. Cast out your worries and refill them with positive and inspiring thoughts. Repeat this process as often as you can and you’ll find that peace of mind comes by easily.

So how can you tell when you’re achieved peace of mind? Well, you’ll know it because you become CLEAR more and CONFUSED less, you LAUGH more and FROWN less, you BELIEVE more and DOUBT less, you ACT more and PONDER less, and you TRUST more and WORRY less. I challenge everyone to practice these techniques in order to attain what some people may consider as the thing that they want most of out life.

Madam Toastmasters, fellow toastmasters and guests, good evening.

-taken from my Basic Speech Project #3-