Asking for Divine Guidance in the Lily Cloud

Masters and Teachers, pls. guide me with the answers to my questions:

Aug. 12, 2012

Q: I am experiencing a separation with my mom.  What is causing this and how many I fix it?
A: The separation in is your head.  It is how you label the situation.  You think you are very different from her simply because of what you have been exposed to. She also thinks you are very different because of what she has been exposed to.  In reality, there is no separation.  You can be different and be one.  

Q: How?
A: By presenting your different viewpoints and not judging either be right or wrong.  It just is.  Respect your mom for her years of experience.  Respect the wisdom that has become part of you, from your experiences.

Q: My mom has continuously complained on my size and it's driving me crazy.  What I can I do to keep the peace?
A: You are not at peace when you are constantly in guilt.  Speak the truth and not feel guilty. What is there to be guilty with the truth?  Other people may not like it but it is not for them to like.  It is for them to understand.

Aug. 13, 2012

Q: Masters and Teachers, what messages do you have more me this morning as I prepare to go to work?
A: You have done a great job in closing your open items little by little.  Little progress is still progress.   Little progress leads to big progress.  Remember that.  Patience is the key.  Do not rush.  Rushing leads to guilt.   Guilt is manifested in the way you beat yourself up.  Stop that.  You deserve a whole lot better than that.  Try love.  It may not be natural for you at the beginning, but you'll get used to it.

Remember, there is no separation between how you are as Lily being with other Lilies, and how you are as a daughter being with your mom, a sister with your siblings, and an employee with your colleagues and bosses.  There is no separation except the on you create.  What you create, you can un-create.

Stop analyzing. There is nothing to analyze.

Your mom is very supportive.  Show some appreciation before it's too late.  You know that.  Why keep creating knots when all you wanted was to untie all previously created knots?

Your mom is also experiencing a lot of inner conflicts as she interacts with you.  She blames herself for raising you who couldn't meet her expectations.  Let go of these expectations she has of you.  Understand that these expectations she has of you are unmet expectations she has of herself.  It is by exercising love, mercy, and compassion towards yourself and towards her that she learns them herself.  She may not learn it in this lifetime, but who knows?   Anything is possible.  Do you believe?  

Stop doubting. It doesn't serve you.  Spiraling downwards is not the way to play. The world is waiting for you to shining your light.  Stop hiding in the dark.  Make friends with the dark and say good bye. Know that the dark is always there, recognize it, acknowledge it.  In the meantime, move on to the light.  They are waiting for you.  You are needed.  Stop wasting time. 

Use your time and energy and resources in things that you want to create.   Be patient, be discerning.  God is there patiently waiting for you.  

Be in a space of gratitude for all that you have been given.  You have been blessed abundantly.

Learn to be considerate.  

The road ahead is not exactly smooth. You may choose to contribute to its smoothening, or you may choose to bear with it roughness.  

Hang on. Hang on. Sit tight. It will be alright.  

I love you, my dear child.  You are loved. You are loved. You are loved. It will be alright.

Completions 03.23.12 - To Do List

1. Dr. Mau's Talk Transcript - Jan. 18, 2012

2. L. Orientation - Feb. 10, Feb. 15, 2012

3. SSS Contribution - March 2012

4. Globe Bill - Feb. 2012

5. Philhealth Contribution - Jan. to March 2012

6. Mt. Banahaw Trip Preparations

7. Expense Log for March 6-14, 2012 Trip

8. Book Iloilo Flight for 2.

9. Collect Back Pay.  Arrange installment.

10. Pay balance of Iloilo Trip - April 3, 2012.

11. Fund CC bill.  

12. Teach mm how to browse the Internet and use email.

13. Burn trip pics to DVD and give copy to Aunt MC and Aunt VG.

14. Thank Aunt MC and Cousin K for hospitality and generosity of time.

15. Migrate Sony Ericsson phone Globe contacts and Nokia phone contacts to Samsung Galaxy Y Duos.

16. Formally apply at G-M.

17. A. Reading with RS.

18. Log expenses for March 2012.

19. Order one month's supply of Loricid.
20. Blog about insights from HK-China Trip. 
21. Punch hole in my Samsung phone.  Put screen protector on my LCD.
22. Do A. Reading for CS as part of agreed energy exchange.  Give token of appreciation fit for her son.
23.  Ask JB on how I can fulfill my end of the energy exchange.
24. Clean up 2nd floor storage room MBA, former employment reference files.
25. Blog about my interview with friends who have migrated or are balikbayans - how they travel light, how they disposed of their less important belongings.
26. Complete my Documentation Skills Enhancement Course assignments.
27. Decide whether I still want to complete my Print Media Course assignment for my certification. Write a letter to school.

Quality of life and ways of being

11.20.11, a special Sunday, marked the wedding day of my sister. It also marked the 6th birthday of my twin nieces. 

Because I chose to not work during this period, my life learnings got accelerated (my finances were at a standstill during this period, but that is another story).

My father-side relatives from HK came over a few days before and left a few days after, to witness the special occasion, assist in the preparations, and just be with our family.  Some came over for 3 days (Sat-Mon), some 4 (Sat-Tue), and some 7 days (Thu-Wed). Interacting and conversing with them led me to reassess which aspects of our lives, our household, and myself work and which do not.  It was like taking classes about life.  They were our teachers.

In Nov. 2004, I joined a weeklong leadership seminar program where I declared that my legacy to the world is "to improve of quality of my life and of the people around me".  Now who are "the people around me"? They are my immediate family members - my mom and my siblings. What is "quality of life"?  It's a better way of living.  It's about living at the optimum condition, environment, with people I like and love, or choose to like or love. There are so many things that we have been tolerating at home, in the family business, and in how we do things.  Because they ain't totally broke, we ain't gonna fix them! But these systems, things, people have been dragging us down and causing us to lose precious time and now it has to take an outside party to point out what we have missed.  I am grateful that they came over, that my sister's getting married triggered and will continue to trigger a lot of household improvements and transformation.

I shall list down my insights so that I may savor and reminisce them in the years to come:

1. Brushing up of Mandarin-speaking skills. - Since Mandarin was our primary common language of communication with my relatives, next to Fukien and English and we wanted to get our message across, we had to use that.   This forced us to re-awaken our rather dormant Mandarin speaking, listening, and comprehension skills, which was a good thing. Very good thing.

2. Marketing of raw ingredients (crabs, prawns, fish, pork ribs, lean meat, pig kidneys, corn starch, soy sauce, veggies). - I learned where to buy these items, how to check the quality, and how to haggle for a price.

3. Cooking and preparing dishes.

4. Choosing a life partner. - Look at a higher perspective.  See the bigger picture. There's no right or wrong, just varying perspectives.  The life partner candidate need not have similar preferences or likes are I do.  We just need to learn to respect each other's hobbies and interests, give space and provide encouragement.  Character and getting along are of utmost importance.  The partner must be forward-looking (has ambitions in life, knows how to plan for the future).  The strength of the husband covers for the weakness of the wife and vice versa.  Because of the differences, they got to appreciate each other for what they have in front of them.

5. Getting reacquainted with the Philippines, Metro Manila, the transportation and communication system, government policies, and the like. - Because of the inquisitive nature of my relatives, they would frequently (but not in an irritating manner) ask why this, why that, why not this, why not that?  This would trigger the thought process of me and my brother as we strive to produce an answer or give our best guess, or air out our personal opinions.  Note that we don't frequently do the latter.  We normally take things for granted.

6. Learning about certain family trivia / history.  For instance, the meaning of embossed characters by the wall posts at our grandparents' tombstones.

7. Awareness of equipment/appliances that are not working at optimum performance - e.g. TV at living room (color hue unstable, casting a greenish glow), gas stove with small fire at the burners, gas oven that is not connected to the gas supply (because computer items of my bro are sitting on stop of it).
* Cousin WY actually bought a brand new LED TV to replace the decade-long CRT TV as surprise gift for our family.  I was so surprised when I saw the delivery guy assemble a new unit in our living room.  When I learned where it came front, I was so touched that tears fell from my eyes.  That was how much they wanted to help improve the quality of our TV viewing.  They do not just talk and give feedback about what things do not work, what the possible solutions are -- they actually went ahead and took concrete steps to execute the solution.

8.  Being. - I learned what it's like to just be.  Because my finances are limited, my capability to treat them to fine dining or other luxurious, pampering activities were also limited.  The most I could offer was my time and skills -- driving my cousins, uncle and aunts to certain malls and shopping areas near and far, or sometimes go by foot to the nearby mall for buy grocery items for pasalubong.  I buy them cute gifts as souvenir.  I enjoyed the mini-conversations with my aunt and cousin while doing the seemingly mundane things -- such as while crossing the street, shopping for items in the supermarket, and enjoying halo-halo in a fastfood resto.

9. Health - Walk 10,000 steps everyday. Invest in a pedometer.  Get formal taichi lessons and the like at least once a day and practice on your own everyday.  Our roofdeck is a perfect venue for doing such exercises early in the morning because it is spacious and can afford us fresh air.  I was asked to value my health and not throw it away just because I had more "illnesses" and discomforts than most of my siblings or peers (to my knowledge).  Get a 2nd opinion.

10. Choice of household help. - Choose proactive ones.

11. Incentive (carrot and stick) - Carrot approach.  To encourage me to shed off my excess pounds, my uncle told me he will sponsor my trip to HK, all expenses paid, by March 2012.  So, I have from end of November to Feb. 2012 to achieve 130 lbs. from 145 lbs.  Smart of him.  I do miss going to HK.

12. Being a good citizen of the world, protecting our environment, loving Mother Nature. - At the cemetery, they would make it a point not to leave trash lying around.  When we used a giant banana leaf to partially cover the paper money being burned in the open area behind a grand uncle's tombstone and the leaf got burned in the process, the uncle and cousin made it a point to fan out the fire so that we don't start a forest fire.  

13. Proper etiquette and behavior. - To leave the manly works to the gentleman.

My uncle, aunt, and cousin taught us how to live life, how to be street-savvy, how to be cautious, how to protect ourselves, and how to be a good citizen.  They taught us the value of addressing our tolerations.  I had to study coaching to understand all these concepts.  They lived it.

Our quality of our family relationship and our knowledge on quality living were enriched because of our 1-week interaction with them and with the wedding preparations for my sister starting half a year ago.  I am eternally grateful for this experience. 

- written on 11.22.11

Insights from JPT

5 Ways to Address a Problem

1. We are now attacking the problem-initiating action!

2. Fleeing - run away

3. Avoiding - keeping away

4. Neglecting - not paying attention (an old favorite)

5. Succumbing - yielding, justifying (hehe) 

-- SMS from JPT 03.08.11

Personal Values & Integrity

If you are honest with yourself and with others, you can't help but do well in life. A relationship exists between your own self-respect -- how you look at your personal values -- & how successful you are. A person who is honest, outspoken and respects himself will get more done and accomplish his goals far easier thank someone who is dishonest, introverted and withdrawn. - L. Ron Hubbard

-- SMS from JPT 02.28.11

My birthday wishlist for 2011

I would like to wish for material treats this year, a day before I turn 33, because I deserve to have them.

• A colored inkjet printer with built-in scanner.
• Sponsorship to Egypt on 10.30.11 to 11.12.11.
• Time to create, cook, and bake.  Make ref cakes for starters.
• A new pair of closed shoes.
• A pair of Havaianas slippers.
• Full body and foot massage every two months.
• An Apple iPhone 4.
• A new pair of dark jeans.
• A new pair of black office trousers.
• A new special occasion night gown.  Large (not XL).
• Mutual funds investment show money.
• New blouses.
• Quarterly hair spa treatment.

Becoming a Creativity Coach

I just finished doing my vision board yesterday and had them happily hosted on my bedroom wall.  Two whole sheets of cartolina-sized brown craft paper.   Took me 2 days to finish them.  

I'd like to talk about the career aspect.  I put in corporate life coach, creativity coach, and creative writer.   The common denominator being creativity coach.  


What does mean for me to be a creativity coach?   Why do I want to be that?  What will it take for me to become that?  What can I do now? 


Q1:  What does it mean for me to be a creativity coach? 
A1:  It means that one, I am creative, and two, I am a coach.  By being creative, it means I create life in accordance to my design.   I design how I'm going to live, how I'm going to make a living, who I'm going to be with, and so on.   Key word is design.  By being a coach, it means I have earned my right to coach people to design the life that they want, because I have been able to design the life that I wanted.  Creativity is about creating beauty, expressing one's inner thoughts and ideas, and communicating the message clearly.  Coaching is about enhancing life.  It's about going for a healthier, happier option. 


Q2: Why do I want to be that, a creativity coach? 
A2: Because I want to embody creativity, for it is within me, waiting for me to unleash it.   I have a message to communicate to the world.  The best way for me to communicate it is to live it.  I want people to discover this aspect of themselves too.   To be authentic.


Q3:  What will it take for me to become that?
A3:  For one, I will have to experience creative living.  What is creative living?  It is being independent, making the most of my resources, and going through each level in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  


1. Physiological - Food, clothes, shelter.
2. Security - Safe neighborhood, stable source of income, health insurance coverage.
3. Social - Belongingness.  Acceptance and support from family, friends, and community.
4. Esteem - Personal worth, social recognition, accomplishments.  Travel.
5. Self-actualization - Spirituality. High level of self-awareness.  Commitment to personal growth, fulfilling own's full potential.

Gaining competency in creativity for me means becoming a competent multimedia designer.  I'd like to be able to design things of beauty, that which improves the quality of life.  Earning more income improves one's quality of life because one can afford to acquire what they need to meet a specific purpose.  I'd like to be able to design witty, charming, out-of-this world items that bring cheer to people.  I'd like to design curriculum that bring enlightenment to people.  


Gaining competency in coaching for me means earning my ICF ACC certification.   Because it means I am competent enough to do coaching as a profession.  It also means that I have helped at least 8 people achieve their goals or have higher self-awareness and have gone through at least 100 coaching hours.   

When I am competent, I am in a better position to add value to others.  I'd like to be of value to myself and to the world.  


Q4: What can I do now? 
A4:  I could go to Singapore and live there for 2 years.  Working and saving and sending money home.  Practice self-responsibility.   I could take up further studies in multimedia design.   I could focus in building my confidence in producing good art by not being afraid to produce.  I would have to find a job that would enable me to fund my dreams one at a time.   It will entail faith, fortitude, persistence, and patience.   Lots of patience.  And determination.   It would mean uprooting myself from the Philippines, and rooting myself in Singapore.   I will have to build my foundation.  I will attract the 8 people who are ready to be coached by me and agree on a healthy form of energy exchange, till I earn my coaching certification.  It may take 4-5 years.  I will be able to purchase some gadgets and new clothes, upgrade my insurance coverage, start an investment scheme to build my financial foundation.   


My friend D asked me to make a choice.  In my heart I had wanted to be a real artist.   I have oscillated back and forth between a go-no-go decision of whether to take multimedia design seriously as a career.   I think I have contemplated on it long enough.   I will go for it and there's no turning back.


I will achieve this, by God's grace.

The Right Questions

I have began to love Debbie Ford's books on shadow work and was fortunate enough to get a dear friend to lend me her copies. I would like to share these powerful questions to keep us aligned to our higher purpose and live our higher selves.

THE RIGHT QUESTIONS
Ten Essential Questions to Guide You to an Extraordinary Life
by Debbie Ford

Q1: Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
Q2: Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
Q3: Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
Q4: Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?
Q5: Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
Q6: Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
Q7: Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
Q8: Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
Q9: Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
Q10: Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?

A Compelling Why

I have resigned from my job 6 weeks ago. Everyday I sit in front of my Mac typing away, surfing, pondering.

I resigned because I said I wanted to work in Singapore by Feb. 2011.
I resigned because I said I wanted to finish my graphics design school project.
I resigned because I said I wanted to de-clutter and organize my e-files.

What have I accomplished so far?

I have since then taken up seminars and workshops on topics for which I am not sure if I have immediate need for.

Finished 5 counseling sessions with a professional counselor. I felt better since then. But I can't quantify it.
Took up HALE on forgiveness but have not yet mustered the courage to confront my boss. I promised to meet up with her this month.
Took up Shadow Power on embracing my dark side and recognizing the gifts behind them.
Took up Akashic Reading Advanced Class but have not mustered the courage to practice readings with my peers. I still fear being judged by people who are not aware that I have spiritually evolved. Have I?
Attended the Christmas Recollection module by Ms. HHH and learned about AFFORMATIONS vs. AFFIRMATIONS. I'm gonna have to try out the former. The latter has not worked too well for me because of my natural tendency to invalidate.

I've started 2 out of 4 mentoring sessions from a speechwriter mentor but have not found the motivation to finish up the remaining pre-paid sessions because my intent wasn't so clear. I wasn't clear with what kind of help I would like to get from the mentor.

Somebody offered me to take me in as a mock English language student to test out her 10-hour coaching module. So far it has been running well. I am learning something new. I just hope that I can give her an equivalent amount of energy exchange.

I postponed a potential web and graphics design mentoring opportunity with a professional web developer friend because of the tight timeline that he gave for producing the output. I totally abandoned it though I did write a letter to him that I intend to finish my graphics assignments first, which I haven't to this date.

I am waiting for something to happen. What is it that I'm waiting for?

My savings are getting depleted fast and I know I have to replenish it soon. But why am I not moving at all? What am I waiting for?

Suddenly the WHY of what I've declared to the world is not so clear. I would like to ask myself once again. Why, indeed?